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 When Pokemon first hit the United states, it was an invasion on par with the Beatles. Well, maybe not, but certainly everyone with a pulse knew what Pokemon was. Over the years the Pokemon craze has worn down, but it's certainly a profitable property to be sure. In this article I look at my own love / hate relationship with the electric rat, I mean mouse, and friends.
I am a recovering Pokemaniac. I can say that without shame because there are many, many adults who are guilty of the same crime. We were seduced by the ability to capture and build up a legion of faithful "pets," ones with which we could do battle without fear from the ASPCA, PETA, or the 5-0 (police, for those of you not familiar with the term). Later, we could breed our strongest ones to get even stronger children, some with adult characteristics from the first time they hatched from an egg. I'm sure Darwin and Mendel are rolling over in their grades. And if that wasn't enough, we always had the capability to trade off the ones we didn't like for ones we did from an unsuspecting mark who didn't know what he or she had. And sometimes in that trade our Pokemon evolved. They became more powerful. Like we needed more power. It wasn't real power, like the ability to tear a phonebook in half or launch a thousand ships power. But to the game geek, it was power to be respected nonetheless.
I started with Pokemon Yellow, not knowing it was harder than the Pokemon Blue/Red/Green. The nice thing about Pokemon Yellow was you started with Pikachu. Well, nice if you wanted to copy the cartoon. Pikachu as your front line pokemon isn't so great. Sure, you can eventually develop a decent electric type with pikachu (especially if you evolve it to raichu), but let's face it... there are better pokemon out there. Sure, if your pikachu was as smart as Ash's, that'd be a different story. But I never saw my pikachu do to cubone what Ash's did. That's one smart rat. Sometimes you have to wonder which of the two is smarter, Ash or Pikachu. But I'm getting ahead of myself.
Because I had small boys, they started watching the cartoon. And soon they wanted to play, too. If you ever want to know what frustration is, try teaching a four year-old the concept of building a balanced group of pokemon to stay within the levels you can handle because of the badges you've earned. It took awhile, but my four year-old got the hang of it. And that's when it hit me... this is a game that was fascinating for a four year-old. What was I doing playing it? But I saw a lot of other adults playing Pokemon. Tons of other adults, in fact, especially after the collectible card game came out. That was one thing I knew to avoid. I had once been a rabid Magic: the Gathering player. Me and my wife both. Can you say "money pit?" I thought you could.
Then came the next series of pokemon games. There was gold and silver. The pangs of guilt tugged at my heart, but you know, I didn't listen. There was even Pokemon Crystal, which I found myself buying. I even bought the trading card game for Gameboy because I knew I didn't want to get involved in the real game. And when my now five year-old decided he liked that trading card game, too, again, the pangs hit my heart. Why was I still playing this series of games?
But yet I persisted. There was the pokemon game on N64 (yes, I own one), Pokemon Stadium. I resisted Stadium II mainly because i was attached to my PS2. There was Pokemon Coliseum on the GameCube. And then there was Pokemon Ruby and Sapphire. Each one in turn sucked me in and I handed over my hard-earned money for yet another title in the franchise. At this point the real question isn't who is smarter, Ash or Pikachu, but who is smarter, Ash or the Ferret. Hands down the rat has us beat.
The GameCube eventually broke from overuse (it was being used for children's ministry, too) so I had to replace it. The GameCube packaged with Pokemon XD was the same price as the normal GameCube, so I thought, "Aha! I finally got one over on them! Pikachu, you have lost!" But then came Pokemon Leaf Green and Fire Red. Again, the Ferret lost the fight. The rat had won yet again, and it's just not good for a ferret to go down to a rat. I guess at some point I need to admit I also bought the Pokemon Channel game, too, but it was for the kids, honest! Of all the games, I think I was much more amazed with Pokemon Channel than the others. Pikachu's ability for maliciousness... but that's a tale for another time.
So what finally caused this pokemaniac to break his addiction? Jigglypuff. As in playing Link in Super Smash Brothers against a Jigglypuff expert and watching that special move which if done just right KOs you off the screen. My boys countered with Pikachu and MewTwo. It was a pokemon nightmare. Three pokemon, at the pokemon stage, against Link. Though we weren't playing teams, I swear they were. I ended up dropping back to Roy just to regain my sanity.
There you have it. This pokemaniac finally had enough of pokemon. There is Pokemon Mystery Dungeon and Pokemon Ranger, my boys own the former (birthday present from a pair of well-meaning but misguided aunts), but I'm not buying either. If you ever feel yourself lured to the somehow legal substance known as pokemon, run. Or you, too, may find yourself stuck in a habit you must hide from friends and family alike. After all, it's no longer cool to be an adult pokemaniac. Too many of us are in recovery. One day at a time... One day at a time.
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